First of all you have to recognise you need to tear up your self-created obstacles to personal happiness.
You are an individual and no one can tell you what you can enjoy and how to achieve pleasure but sometimes your best satisfactions are those things you have avoided.
For example, a friend asked me two years ago to come and see his new motorised boat and take a trip – my mind went through various options, the boat might sink, I might be sea-sick, I don’t like getting wet, I might fall overboard, I would need to drive to the marina and its miles away, I can’t afford the time off work, there might be a storm, you can’t rely on the weather, do I trust my friend to keep me safe – the list was endless, so I said no, making my excuses.
Two years later, I get a phone call saying the weather is fine tomorrow but it won’t stay that way, so would you like to come and I said yes and then spent a sleepless night, worrying about the same things I had worried about before but this time, thought to myself, I might enjoy it and I DID.
My friend plotted our course, keeping a log, kept to the right channels in the estuary, the weather was perfect and the only things I continued to worry about was sea-sickness but had taken advice, which I followed about keeping the horizon in sight. And sun burn, as I forgot to take any sun block, however, my friend was at hand with the sun cream, the weather was perfect and I surprisingly, really enjoyed the trip and want to go again – who would have guessed.
So, what should I be asking myself in the future – be honest discover my likes and dislikes